Good morning world.

I'm not Pollyanna again yet.  I think this may stem from the fact that, in addition to everything else,  Michael found out from his sister last night that his mother is mad at him for getting married to me.  Apparently, I am too young.  WHAT?  Ok. Michael is 43 and I am 31.  But, um, aren't we both adults here?  It is not as if I am 12 and Michael is 24. 

His parents have not even acknowledged our wedding.  No card.  No gift.  No phone call.  All Michael got was a lecture when he called to tell them the good news of our engagement, about how marriage brings nothing but misery and they hope he knows what he is doing. 

I must live in the twilight zone. Any other catholic family would have throw a parade in my honor if their gay son fell in love and married me, a woman.  Nope not these people.  They tell him for over 20 years what a sinner he is for "laying with a man as he should a woman" and then refuse to speak to him because he married me and I am "too young." 

Ugh.  I'm going back to bed. 

Let's pretend for a moment that everything is as it is supposed to be.  That money is comfortable and available, that we have ample food in the house, that Nate is calm and learning all over the place, that I am a size 12 and I don;t twitch and shake and temor and drop things all day long, and that there is peace on earth.  Blah,blah,blah.

You know, I have always been one of those Pollyanna types:

 " Look up!" 

" Things could be worse!"

"  You don't have an arm?  Well, that guy has no legs, be grateful for what you do have!"

It's a damn wonder I haven't been shot by now. 

Isn't positive thinking supposed to bring positive results?  What you think about you bring about....right?  Well  then would someone please explain to me why we can't pay rent, why the car broke down again today after we just used Michael's whopping $47 compnay Christmas bonus last week to fix the damn thing when it wouldn't start then, why Nate wants to wears nothing but dragon and flames and be a "skater dude" at the ripe ole' age of 9, why I have been going to a gazillion different doctors and having extremely painful testing done and yet no one can find a problem, why my ex-husband wants to move in with us, why we don't have money to buy food or gas...not that we have a working car.  WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN IT TO ME?!  ANYONE? 

Now that I am with my new and improved husband and we honestly have that true love crap, and we are relationshiply speaking in a great space....WHY IS Everything else falling apart?

I, naturally, feel like it is my fault. 

Ugh. I'm going to bed.